Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Humans whispering "stopppppp" to their misbehaving electronics

8:26 PM · October 4, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

My husband is a drinks girlie and the amount of joy he’s getting from the sodastream we got him is just the best

9:05 PM · October 3, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

How did someone got a candid x-ray of my green skeleton?! twitter.com/ItsKieranDrew/…

9:20 PM · October 2, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Being an adult is announcing every weekend that you’re going to sleep in and then still waking up at 8am anyway

3:28 PM · October 2, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Here’s the thing about return to office: I can only get my hair and makeup to look the way I want maybe 1-2 days per week. The rest of the time I am a goblin who should not be perceived by human eyes

6:39 PM · September 30, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship pic.twitter.com/8tGedXaNQL

5:04 AM · September 28, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Why should the motion-activated hand dryer get to decide when my hands are dry? We have given too much power to the robots

10:15 PM · September 27, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

My therapist: You don't owe anyone an explanation Me: Okay, but let me just tell you why I do

4:04 PM · September 26, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Little invite from Viserys! #hotd link.medium.com/vxcDF8RLCtb pic.twitter.com/F0obAybHA9

1:07 AM · September 26, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

The Body of This is Absurd on TMI - Too Much Internet kelleygreene.substack.com/p/t…

5:20 PM · September 23, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Being a Virgo is feeling like you’re running late to work and somehow still being the first one there

6:50 PM · September 22, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I NEED THE FRANKENSTEIN ('s monster) IMMEDIATELY twitter.com/linemade666/st…

5:50 PM · September 22, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

New piece out today in @SlackjawHumor! Come hang with the fam 🐉 #HouseOfTheDragon #HouseTargaryen medium.com/slackjaw/youre…

3:25 PM · September 22, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

🎵 Mama told me not to I did anyway Ride a dragon 🎵 twitter.com/CaseySplinter/…

3:07 AM · September 22, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Penn State coaches checking out Chad Powers pic.twitter.com/ugTHLpRxNm

8:10 PM · September 21, 2022