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Robot Butt
10 Superstitions Guaranteed to Make Your Favorite Sports Team Win
Kelley GreeneOctober 13, 2021
Points in Case
The Sunnyside Senate Retirement Community is Here For Your Aging Senator
Kelley GreeneAugust 12, 2021
Greener Pastures
The Worst Thing Goop Enthusiasts Did During The Pandemic
Kelley GreeneJune 30, 2021
Medium

I’m Alive During Trump’s Fifth Term And Things Are Fine

Kelley GreeneNovember 3, 2020
Medium

COVID-19 Vampire’s Diary

Kelley GreeneOctober 31, 2020
Medium

Removed Amazon Intelligence Analyst Job Posting

Kelley GreeneSeptember 6, 2020
Medium

Zodiac Signs as Taco Bell Menu Items

Kelley GreeneAugust 7, 2020
Twitch

Witnessing a Sim’s Death (X2)!!

Kelley GreeneFebruary 1, 2020
YouTube

Canadian Foods Taste Test

Kelley GreeneAugust 30, 2019
YouTube

A Lil Intro

Kelley GreeneFebruary 18, 2019
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About Me

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and geek from Chicago, Illinois.

Twitter

Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

if you want me to be excited about AI, make one that will sit on the phone with comcast

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7:55 PM · May 22, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

calling it now: the sale to matsson goes through and mencken installs connor as ceo

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3:26 AM · May 22, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

when someone asks me how my job search is going pic.twitter.com/6UPNePXBxQ

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7:14 AM · May 21, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

trying to figure out how to explain to my mom that she has to say Abel Tesfaye now pic.twitter.com/w23IhfgiPL

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7:42 PM · May 19, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

get on a domu ad 😎 twitter.com/biz_socks/stat… pic.twitter.com/8ailGhao3Z

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3:18 AM · May 18, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

Starting the Dungeons & Dragons movie!!! So excited

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12:59 AM · May 18, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

one time when used to do tech support for apple this old hippie called in having issues uploading a massive video over wifi. i asked him if he could plug in an ethernet cable and he said "no way. i'm not gonna be tied down by your kite strings, man"

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5:15 PM · May 17, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

twitter.com/fckeveryword/s… pic.twitter.com/SPRBFCxkPZ

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3:53 AM · May 17, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

i really appreciate the correction suggestions in google docs but please could you give me ONE SECOND TO FIX IT MYSELF BEFORE THE LIL POPUP THING COMES UP jesus christ

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6:23 PM · May 16, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

can't cope with kendall saying "maybe the poison drips down" to a pregnant shiv 😭

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3:15 AM · May 15, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

Connor Roy: Enough Already! is maybe the best campaign slogan i've ever seen

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3:14 AM · May 15, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

it is time for me to come clean: i tried to play breath of the wild bc it looked so cool but i could never figure out how to go up the cold mountain. after 20ish hours i gave up, and am now too afraid to try the new zelda

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5:57 PM · May 13, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

Not me driving in to San Francisco for dinner and forgetting a fucking jacket AGAIN

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1:15 AM · May 13, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

me, my dad, and my brother acted in plays at her little local theatre in texas, now i'm just wondering how she was planning to take us out twitter.com/AmericanGwyn/s…

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7:44 PM · May 12, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

This week's newsletter, in which I discuss my dresser refinishing saga (and in a tweet here which will surely be hidden and throttled because it contains the dreaded S*bstack link) kelleygreene.substack.com/p/m…

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7:41 PM · May 12, 2023
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