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Categories

  • 2 Ho Ho Ho's
  • Greener Pastures
  • Medium
  • Points in Case
  • Robot Butt
  • Slackjaw
  • The Belladonna
  • The Washington Boast
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Slackjaw March 4, 2021

Let Me Tell You About My New MLM, The Borg

Medium December 22, 2020

I am Moff Tiaan Jerjerrod and I Can Assure You That The Death Star II is Perfectly Safe

Robot Butt December 1, 2020

Cavemen Quarterly Project Update

Medium November 3, 2020

I’m Alive During Trump’s Fifth Term And Things Are Fine

Medium October 31, 2020

COVID-19 Vampire’s Diary

Medium September 6, 2020

Removed Amazon Intelligence Analyst Job Posting

Medium August 7, 2020

Zodiac Signs as Taco Bell Menu Items

Twitch February 1, 2020

Witnessing a Sim’s Death (X2)!!

YouTube August 30, 2019

Canadian Foods Taste Test

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About Me

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and geek from Chicago, Illinois.

Twitter

Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

went to a used bookstore to get out a little bit and take my mind off things only to hear two customers debating whether or not AI was used to evaluate laid off tech employees and this is why i have to get out of the bay area

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12:24 AM · February 3, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

Taking care of a human body is too much work

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7:01 AM · February 2, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

using your GPS in the south bay is like, "your destination is only 7 minutes away! just get on 3 highways, take 16 exits, and merge across 4 lanes of active traffic. easy!"

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9:14 PM · January 31, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

guys get mad at women for wearing makeup saying it falsely enhances their real features yet they are allowed to grow beards to make it look like they have chins

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7:34 PM · January 30, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

TMI - Too Much Internet: Here Comes The Big Wave! kelleygreene.substack.com/p/h…

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7:31 PM · January 27, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

damn, what am i supposed to do with all the office-related tweets in my drafts folder now???

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6:42 PM · January 27, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

Sometimes you just have to channel your layoff rage πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ thanks to @The_Belladonnas for publishing this one! thebelladonnacomedy.com/layof…

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6:37 PM · January 26, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

the thought i just keep coming back to with this layoff is that i should have stolen more office supplies

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9:11 PM · January 25, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

spokescandies waking up to being locked out of their email twitter.com/mmschocolate/s…

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4:40 PM · January 23, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

not me automatically waking up at 7AM this morning thinking i had to go to work pic.twitter.com/GHFfEB2aGD

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4:31 PM · January 23, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

why are people acting like disney is about to demo splash mountain with tnt when it's literally just new characters being put into the exact same ride

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6:38 AM · January 23, 2023
Twitter
Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

my discord took a few extra seconds to load earlier and my brain was instantly like "THEY LOCKED ME OUT I'M FIRED FROM DISCORD" so yeah just having a normal one over here

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11:28 PM · January 21, 2023
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Kelley Greene πŸ€
Kelley Greene πŸ€
@kelleygreene

yep, exactly right @Carnage4Life! thanks for the share. twitter.com/Carnage4Life/s…

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5:55 PM · January 21, 2023
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