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About Me

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and geek from Chicago, Illinois.

Twitter

Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

What if — and bear with me here — we simply did not do air strikes in the Middle East

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2:02 AM · February 26, 2021
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Is using a Skip It considered cardio

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9:02 PM · February 25, 2021
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Okay Hasbro tell me what this is then pic.twitter.com/TpcvJQazQk

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6:39 PM · February 25, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Last night my Amazon Echo was flashing and when I asked it what the notification was for it told me it thought it was time for me to reorder a box of macaroni and cheese

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5:20 PM · February 25, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

I voted twice for @RossanaFor33 and am so proud to have her as my Alderman. She's awesome and doesn't deserve to be disrespected like this. twitter.com/seanduffy_/sta…

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10:09 PM · February 24, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

My coworkers and I signing off one meeting bridge and directly back on to another one pic.twitter.com/Lyqe9XLblr

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6:58 PM · February 24, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

My husband and I singlehandedly put Fry's out of business by taking advantage of their price match

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5:18 PM · February 24, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Facebook's algorithm: We know you creepily well, check out these clothes you are definitely going to want to buy Twitter's algorithm: pic.twitter.com/fpomkgmHVK

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3:41 PM · February 23, 2021
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

I know exactly who needs to hear this, and it's people living in the Midwest: You have a Vitamin D deficiency

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3:40 PM · February 23, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Apparently the thing I find most relaxing is to watch people compete against each other on TV

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4:06 AM · February 23, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

This thread is capitalism at it's finest twitter.com/islamphobiacow…

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6:22 PM · February 21, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Why am I still trying to write comedy pic.twitter.com/pSFeqVIR9K

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6:57 PM · February 19, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Breaking: Ted Cruz fires his Trip Advisor

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4:09 AM · February 19, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Probiotic gf Neosporin bf

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3:40 AM · February 19, 2021
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

🥺 twitter.com/NASAPersevere/…

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9:06 PM · February 18, 2021

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