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The Belladonna

Other Famous Pauls Warn That The British Are Coming

Kelley GreeneApril 18, 2022
Robot Butt

How to Cope With Not Being an Olympian While Watching the Winter Olympics

Kelley GreeneFebruary 18, 2022
Contests

NYC Midnight 250-Word MicroFiction Challenge

Kelley GreeneDecember 19, 2021
Weekly Humorist

Rejected Friends Thanksgiving Episodes

Kelley GreeneNovember 23, 2021
2 Ho Ho Ho's

VampireFeast.com’s Transylvania Travel Guide for Humans

Kelley GreeneOctober 30, 2021
Greener Pastures

New Company Policies to Help You Keep Working During Historic Events

Kelley GreeneOctober 27, 2021
Robot Butt

10 Superstitions Guaranteed to Make Your Favorite Sports Team Win

Kelley GreeneOctober 13, 2021
Points in Case

The Sunnyside Senate Retirement Community is Here For Your Aging Senator

Kelley GreeneAugust 12, 2021
Greener Pastures

The Worst Thing Goop Enthusiasts Did During The Pandemic

Kelley GreeneJune 30, 2021
2 Ho Ho Ho's

Exciting Things to Look Forward to as Humanity Destroys the Earth

Kelley GreeneApril 27, 2021
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About Me

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and geek from Chicago, Illinois.

Twitter

Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

I find it so odd that all the Nancy Pelosi donation requests are asking for "gifts". Sorry to inform ya but there are strings attached...if you want my money, you have to actually DO THINGS like PROTECT MY RIGHTS

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9:29 PM · July 1, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Today is my last day at a job I've been at for almost EIGHT YEARS. It feels *extremely* weird. I have a month off before starting at my new job and I think it's gonna take like a week to even set in

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6:56 PM · July 1, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Can someone teach me how to like bell peppers please

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5:42 PM · June 29, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

It's Primary voting day, Illinois! Go fill in some little bubbles on some paper!!

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2:12 PM · June 28, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME THE SKATES MAKE SPARKS twitter.com/aikohwrites/st…

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2:38 AM · June 28, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

the last two years have been a crash course in how to receive devastating, traumatizing information and just keep working through it

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5:56 PM · June 24, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

now just waiting for the inevitable "wow, this is a dark day for american democracy! vote in the midterms" speech

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4:33 PM · June 24, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

This again medium.com/the-washington…

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3:56 PM · June 24, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

He's ALARMED everybody! Watch out, he just might have a strongly worded press conference before confirming he won't do anything about the filibuster twitter.com/ArthurDelaneyH…

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3:18 PM · June 24, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

2016: "You're overreacting!" 2022: twitter.com/fordm/status/1…

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2:37 PM · June 24, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Love to sit through meetings this morning while my rights get taken away 🙃

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2:31 PM · June 24, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

How two guys streaked during our Big Senior Rival Game and the cops aggressively tackled and arrested them, then went through the stands taking everyone’s TAPES out of their recorders so there wasn’t any video of it. One guy hid his and we put it on Channel 1 the following Monday twitter.com/EthanSCorey/st…

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1:02 AM · June 24, 2022
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Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

We love to see it twitter.com/The_TUC/status…

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9:06 PM · June 23, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

He’s a 10 but he can’t point out something on your screen without touching it

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1:12 AM · June 23, 2022
Twitter
Kelley Greene
Kelley Greene
@kelleygreene

Why did I think this was Ray Liotta twitter.com/FilmUpdates/st…

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4:42 PM · June 22, 2022

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