Robot Butt

Satire pieces published on Robot Butt.

Robot Butt

How to Cope With Not Being an Olympian While Watching the Winter Olympics

Kelley GreeneFebruary 18, 2022

Robot Butt

10 Superstitions Guaranteed to Make Your Favorite Sports Team Win

Kelley GreeneOctober 13, 2021

Robot Butt

Cavemen Quarterly Project Update

Kelley GreeneDecember 1, 2020

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Me when the FBI inquires about my trove of information* about the French President *adorable photos pic.twitter.com/MpEe4v0Uy3

10:10 PM · August 12, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

😍😍😍 twitter.com/angryangryalic…

8:59 PM · August 12, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Me having a breakthrough with my therapist twitter.com/NathanForYouOo…

4:03 PM · August 12, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Last time I got my hair cut the stylist recommended a volumizing foam at the crown of my head before I blow dry, which has turned out to be a fantastic cowlick enhancer

3:39 PM · August 11, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

HBO Max watching us crank up the volume during the previews pic.twitter.com/r1BuXLfqXb

2:28 PM · August 10, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

One thing to know about me is that I can absolutely HOUSE a can of black beans

12:59 AM · August 9, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Someone in my training this afternoon asked me if I was a new college grad so I’ll be riding that high for a WHILE

9:33 PM · August 8, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

One time my cows got into our neighbor's house while it was being built because they'd left a bag of horse feed propping the door open. The cows were in there for the better part of a day because they were scared to go down the porch stairs. So much poop 😂 twitter.com/BinAnimals/sta…

3:33 AM · August 7, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

My husband said I should make new friends since we moved across the country so I started feeding 3 crows that hang out on our porch in the morning pic.twitter.com/VKxoaQtsHd

11:33 PM · August 6, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Ad: *Lures me in with a cute pair of sneakers* Me: Okay yes I'll bite, gimme Website: LOL they're for kids and only come in kid sizes

5:56 PM · August 5, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

California, Here We...Are on TMI - Too Much Internet kelleygreene.substack.com/p/c…

5:53 PM · August 5, 2022

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Generational trauma twitter.com/estressecurado…