Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Embarrassingly excited to discover they’ve reopened the set for Guy’s Grocery Games

2:16 AM · June 24, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

This is PEAK 🇺🇸 twitter.com/netflix/status… pic.twitter.com/KU8HobC6PH

2:57 PM · June 23, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Listening to music? Come for the chorus, stay for the bridge

8:21 PM · June 21, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

If you need a predictor of when unexpected turbulence will occur on a flight, I can definitively say that it is immediately after whenever I get up to go to the bathroom

3:34 PM · June 18, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I don’t think my pilot has a TikTok :(

11:53 AM · June 18, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I’m at an airport for the first time in over a year. There’s almost nowhere to sit, but the one person within my hearing range is blasting a horror movie score complete with a woman screaming on speaker. America is back 🇺🇸

11:21 AM · June 18, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Living in Chicago is ordering your 4 month city sticker through the mail, not receiving it, parking on the street for months anyway, not getting a ticket, and then getting your sticker's renewal notice

7:52 PM · June 17, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Bring back dating shows where all the contestants live in a house with the one celebrity they're trying to attract, you cowards

4:02 PM · June 17, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I'm so glad this photo didn't load so you get the actual image title AND the description all together. This is perfect, no notes pic.twitter.com/cFuqh2R4pY

8:50 PM · June 16, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Did a dog write this pic.twitter.com/G4QjmoCe73

6:39 PM · June 15, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

In awe of the fact that I have well over 200 pens and markers and apparently NO HIGHLIGHTERS

3:21 AM · June 15, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Skipping the optometrist and using Apple TV app activation codes as an eye test instead

6:37 PM · June 13, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Well, well, well, it seems my email has found you

3:33 AM · June 12, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Me when I'm high and someone asks me if I want a snack pic.twitter.com/RdrUeE1vii

9:55 PM · June 11, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

🎵 We are two in a million We've got all the luck we could be given If the world should stop We'll still have each other And no matter what We'll be forever as one 🎵 pic.twitter.com/9OkI6hxwDa

5:57 PM · June 11, 2021