retirement

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

My “high school jams” playlist is outing me as a Millennial™️ pic.twitter.com/NASXXgQeH6

5:29 AM · November 28, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

If this is not rehearsal for the Righteous Gemstones I don't know what's real anymore twitter.com/MusicalChaotic…

1:55 AM · November 28, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

realizing i have a ton in common with the builders in civ 6. i can only do 3-5 tasks and then i need to disappear

7:48 PM · November 27, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

Never forget: there are people in this world that bite the silverware when they eat

3:42 AM · November 27, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

The parade balloons and I have something in common: we both look way better from far away

7:55 PM · November 24, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

LED headlights are an abomination

7:24 AM · November 24, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

I have never met a Sarah I didn’t like

11:02 PM · November 22, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

I can’t imagine the shame of trying to squirt water in an athlete’s mouth on the sideline and having them decline. I’d walk off the field and never come back

10:13 PM · November 20, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

How to go fucking insane when you just want a quick change before dinner after getting off a plane twitter.com/LearnEverydayN…

12:06 AM · November 20, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

“That salad is overdressed” okay sure but if it had less dressing on it I’d have to taste the lettuce???

7:08 PM · November 18, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

Men can't find the Paris Olympics Mascot on TMI - Too Much Internet kelleygreene.substack.com/p/m…

6:44 PM · November 18, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

Things may look bad but I'm still hanging around until James Cameron comes by in a submersible

4:24 AM · November 18, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

🙏🏻 twitter.com/lolacoaster/st…

4:14 AM · November 18, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

Swifties: please go after Elon when you're done with Ticketmaster

3:36 AM · November 18, 2022

Kelley Greene 🐀

@kelleygreene

I'm kelleygreene on instagram, kelleygreene@writing.exchange on mastodon, quesoquest on tiktok, kelleygreenelive on twitch ❤️

3:19 AM · November 18, 2022