retirement

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Very ready to talk about how lack of access to affordable higher education and healthcare are creating/supporting the anti-vax movement

4:27 PM · September 20, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

ALERT: If you drank Hi-C Ecto Cooler your high school clothes are cool again

3:32 PM · September 19, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

For whenever the bedframe discourse starts up again: When I met my husband my mattress & box spring were on cinder blocks because my mom told me that metal in a bedframe would expose me to EMF waves while I slept

9:27 PM · September 17, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Glad to get some writing* done tonight *Looking at a Buzzfeed article of before/after pics of celeb couples on the red carpet

3:33 AM · September 17, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Is there anything more ominous than the phrasing of "You've read your last free article..."

8:57 PM · September 15, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

My druid character in D&D: Anyway, here's *water wall*

2:51 PM · September 13, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Is counting macros when you replace half of your normal lunch with a bag of Gushers

5:03 PM · September 10, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Nice twitter.com/yearprogress/s…

1:18 PM · September 10, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

All those small print fees on delivery apps are an introvert tax. They know we're willing to pay more if we don't have to interact with anyone 😫

9:58 PM · September 9, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

I feel personally attacked twitter.com/HardDriveMag/s…

9:49 PM · September 9, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

In 3rd grade I was in a small group of gifted kids that were supposed to build a city out of food. They pulled us out of class and stuck us in a supply closet every morning with boxes of sugar cubes and containers of frosting for an hour. We feasted.

5:52 PM · September 8, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

In honor of Star Trek Day, please 🙏🏻 join my MLM! 🤖 ❤️ 🦾 #StarTrekDay link.medium.com/bmo2l017njb

4:10 PM · September 8, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

So like...all show cattle are shampooed regularly. This guy here is done up for show. He's been blow-dried, and there's also spray glue in his hair to make it stand up like that. He's also had a very nice haircut. HMU if you want to talk show cattle, I did this for YEARS. twitter.com/coma_slut/stat…

5:19 PM · September 7, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Me: Just need a simple pair of black leggings to wear with some sweaters this fall... Every website: $98

4:16 AM · September 5, 2021

Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Nobody: My brain: 🎵 Fifty nifty U-nited States from 13 original colonies 🎵

4:17 PM · September 3, 2021